Saturday, July 14, 2007

Big City Look and Feel

Glens Falls wants to have more of a big city atmosphere while keeping in tune with the "Hometown USA" theme, hence the slogan at the Glens Falls Hospital, "Big City Medicine Hometown Care", (whatever the hell that means). A recent plan being put into action by some genius in the city hall that will hopefully make Glens Falls a more "homeless person friendly" city, may do just that. The plan is called "Big City Look And Feel, With All The Hometown Charm and Appeal."

"Yes we need more homeless people here in Glens Falls", the genius at city hall was quoted as saying, "We want the homeless people from the bigger cities all over the state and all over the country to know that they too can call Glens Falls their hometown. We don't discriminate here in Hometown USA, we want the world to know that we cater to people from all walks of life."

So what is this plan? Well first off there will be more benches placed on the streets of Glens Falls and in City Park, so the homeless can sleep there. But only in the daytime of course, and one foot on the ground at all times. These are the rules just like in the big cities, and the Glens Falls police will be strictly enforcing them.

The next part of the plan includes making metal shopping carts easily accessible for the Homeless people to put all their belongings in and to push them around town. Since it is technically illegal to take shopping carts from supermarket parking lots, (a law that's rarely enforced but a law just the same) a metal shopping cart corral will be placed in a strategic location in Glens Falls so the homeless can get easy access to the carts, and can freely take them and use them without breaking the law.

"Yes the homeless people like their metal shopping carts," a random person from city hall said, "And by golly we're gonna give them those metal shopping carts!"

"This will also create more jobs in this city," another genius from city hall said, "We will hire people to build these metal shopping carts which will have the city's slogan "Hometown USA" printed on each handle, and we will hire people to drive around in trucks and pick up the unused carts that homeless people have abandoned and return them to the corral, or to pick up the carts that are need of repair due to a broken wheel or something, and bring them in for reapairs. Yes this plan is not only good for the city's public image, but it's also good for economic growth as well. It's a win win situation for both the city and the homeless people."

Another part of the plan includes building bigger restrooms at the Crandall Library so the the homeless people can come in and shave and wash up. Part of the current renovations going on at the library include larger restrooms with several stalls and sinks in a couple of the stalls.

"We will let the homeless come in and wash up and shave and do their business at our library," a librarian said, "We want the homeless to know that they are certainly more than welcome here."

Of course the churches will have to do their part. They'll have to hand out lots of blankets to the homeless and start putting on more free meals and set up designated shower times for the homeless. Everybody has got to do their part. But many people are afraid that the city of Glens Falls will be overrun by homeless people, but city hall assures us that this will not be the case. Homeless people will feel welcomed here, but there will be rules that they need to abide by, and in the end Glens Falls will look more like a Big City but will still retain all it's Hometown USA qualities. Hence the slogan, "Big City Look And Feel, With All The Hometown Charm and Appeal."

Yes the homeless people will certainly enjoy living in Hometown USA and experiencing all of it's down home small town charm. This is just the first phase of the plan to give Glens Falls a more "BIG CITY" look and feel. More of the plan will be revealed later on.

Photos by moriza
and eyesplash Mikul
Creative Commons

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